Get Back in the Game

Today I accomplished something...

I ran 3.1 miles for the FIRST time since July 5th!  It felt so good to finally be back and able to run the distance I normally did before my broken ankle incident.  Now, I am slower than a turtle swimming in molasses...but at least I'm moving forward and getting better!

I do have to say that having a broken ankle ranked in the top 5 hardest situations I've ever been through.  I will truly never look at someone with a broken limb...or someone on crutches...the same way again.  My heart breaks every time I see someone hobbling along on crutches.  I know the pain.  I know how hard it is.  I know how it takes away so much of your independence and changes your life so drastically.

But I am a victor!  I have conquered this and am moving forward each and every day to be back to my "normal" running abilities!

But.........I am still dealing with one thing that is a result of my broken ankle.  After I was able to take my cast off, I had to wear an ankle brace to give support to my ankle.  The brace didn't fit that well in my running shoes, which were already 1/2 size bigger than my normal shoes.  Every step I took, I could feel my toes hitting the top of my shoe.

After a short while, I decided to invest in some shoes that were a FULL size too big, just to give my foot, along with the fashionable-looking brace, enough room.  That worked and my foot felt great.....well, for awhile...

Weeks later I have discovered that I have a lovely ingrown toenail...and that is a direct result of all the walking I did with my shoes too tight.

So why do I mention this?  Well the other day as I was chatting with someone about this, I said something that really made me think.  I said, "This silly toenail hasn't grown for months now.  It just sits here.  It's not moving or doing anything.  I wonder how long this is going to take for it to grow or finally do something!!!"

Wow....read that again....

"This silly toenail hasn't grown for months now.  It just sits here.  It's not moving or doing anything.  I wonder how long this is going to take for it to grow or finally do something!!!"

Immediately I was reminded about how powerful of a spiritual application those statements had.

Have we ever had periods of our lives where we didn't grow in God?  Have we ever just sat there...not doing what God intended for us to do?  Have we ever remained motionless spiritually....or just gone through the motions, not really diving into the path God has for us?  Have people ever looked at us and wondered how long it would take for us to grow?

The situations in life...the attacks of the enemy....the times where we are hit by so many battles....  All those things make it so easy to get "out of the game", spiritually speaking....  We feel wounded...wore out...defeated....  It's almost like the battle gets so fierce that we just bench ourselves and figure things will be easier if we just stopped trying.

But where's the victory in that?

Can I be bold enough to point out that in doing so, we are handing the battle over to the enemy and letting him win?

Believe me, I know what spiritual battles feel like.  They can be tiring and so very difficult....but just remember that we cannot lose with God on our side!

God is calling His people to move forward in Him....He is calling us to reach a new spiritual level...to not just sit and be content where we are at....to not just watch everyone else grow but stay stagnant ourselves.

He is calling us to get back in the game.  To pick up ourselves and march forward in victory. 

And even if you are as slow as my recent running, don't let it discourage you.  As long as you are moving forward, you are at least moving in the right direction!

Lessons From a Broken Ankle-Part 3

I use to look at people on crutches and think it was no big deal.  Though I have never had a broken bone, in my own mind, I didn't think it would be that bad.  You just get a cast right?

WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Having a broken ankle means you can't just get up and walk across a room easily.  It means you need help doing even the simplest of tasks.  I found that I needed help carrying things...I couldn't just make my lunch and carry it to the table.  How can I do that on crutches?  I found that I needed help getting places...up and down stairs...etc.  I needed people to bring me things.  I needed help grocery shopping.  I needed help doing laundry.  I needed help going through doors into restaurants/stores.

Having a broken ankle means much time spent just sitting still, foot propped up with ice on it.  It means getting muscle spasms because certain muscles are not being used.  It means not being able to just get up easily in the middle of the night for the restroom.

Having a broken ankle means learning to use crutches.  It means getting everywhere slower than normal.  It means callouses on your hands from the crutches.  It means hopping up and down stairs very strategically so as to NOT fall......which I failed at two different times......

Having a broken ankle has changed my outlook on so many things!

First off, I have learned a new appreciation for my feet.  If you are able to walk on your own right now, count your blessings!!!!  I realized that I took being able to walk and run for granted.  I didn't realize how precious of a gift that is until I lost the use of one foot.

Secondly, I have learned what it's like to depend on everyone around you.  I am so accustomed to being independent and doing so many things for myself.  Breaking my ankle put me into an emotional mess of realizing that I had to depend on every person around me for just about everything I needed.  I felt like I was stressing my family out (which I'm sure I was.....).  I felt needy....I felt so horrible for suddenly having my independence taken away.

But you know what?  God reminded me that this dependence on others was EXACTLY what He wants us to do with HIM!!!!  How often do we try to do things for ourselves instead of depending on our Heavenly Father?  Instead of being out on our own, God wants us to look to Him and depend on Him for all the things we need.  Though it may be hard to give up our independence, things will always go better when we place all our dependence on Him. 

So, that being said, I guess this broken ankle has brought out some good lessons to learn.....  I know I will never again take my ability to walk for granted!!!!!!!!!!

Lessons From a Broken Ankle-Part 2

So to continue my lovely story...

There I was suddenly in the ER....in extreme pain...looking at my enlarged ankle....

I knew what happened.  I knew after that snap I heard, that I had broken a bone.

My world came crashing down as images of upcoming races flashed through my head.  How would I run, let alone walk? 

And sure enough, as we went to the ER, they confirmed that I had indeed broke my fibula.  Tears streamed down my face as I asked the doctor when I would be able to run again.  ...not for many weeks, they said....


This situation rocked my whole world.  Everything I had planned for the summer was different!  I couldn't exercise every day by running.  I wouldn't be able to run in the races I wanted to.  I couldn't take a simple walk, holding hands with my hubby.  I couldn't go on a bike ride.  Everything that involved walking around was now complicated by a big boot, 2 crutches, and the fact that I couldn't put weight on my foot.

At first I was very upset...emotional...sad....not to mention, very upset at the fact that I played tennis even though I really didn't want to in the first place!  But as time went on, I have realized that God has good in every situation that we are faced with.  I distinctly remember praying that I needed some rest...that I needed time to refocus and just dedicate to writing.  Well, lo and behold, I have that time now! 

When our lives don't go exactly as we wish or plan, it's easy to get upset and wonder why God isn't there for us.  But you know, God has an even greater plan for our lives that we could ever imagine.

Our job is to praise God not just in the good times, but in the hard times too.  And through those hard times, God will make us even stronger!

 

Lessons from a Broken Ankle-Part 1

Three long weeks ago I experienced something I never had before.  I broke a bone.  My very first broken bone.  ...yeah....  Can you just feel my excitement?

This experience has been very rough...humbling...challenging... emotional...painful.  It has changed my whole outlook on things.  It has made me very grateful for things.

Though it has taken me three weeks to get to the point of being able to express this experience in writing, I know that God has taught me many lessons through this...lessons that are worth sharing.  So now, as I lay in bed, astronaut-looking boot propped up on top of 3 pillows, I'd like to share one of those lessons.

Let me bring you back to the evening of July 5...the evening that changed my entire plan for the summer.......

My in-laws were in town and they and my hubby were planning to go play tennis after we finished our dinner together.  Since all my kids were gone for the evening, I hesitantly decided to go with.  Now, don't get me wrong...I love playing tennis....just, after a long day's work, somehow the couch sounded more inviting....

Tennis started out great....I was having a great time as I remembered just how much I did love to play.  And I was glad to get some extra exercise!

I clearly remember the ball coming to me....me realizing it was going to be a hard shot...I jumped to the side and stretched out my racket with my left hand to try and reach the ball.  I was determined to get it.

Good news....I got the ball.  I hit it.  Success!!!

Bad news....as I hit the ball and prepared to land on the ground, I remember something not feeling right.  I looked down just in time to see that my left foot was NOT flat on the ground.  My foot was landing on the side.  I watched as my foot rocked more to the side and I basically landed on the side of my shoe instead of the bottom.  The very moment that happened, I heard a crack.  And when that crack happened, I felt intense pain.

Next thing I know, I collapsed on the ground.  I remember throwing my shoe off as quick as I could to relieve some pressure I was feeling.  My sock came off.  I remember everyone staring at me in a panic, trying to decide what to do.  I remember my mother-in-law saying it looked like I had a potato on the side of my foot.  All the while, I knew what happened.  I knew I had snapped a bone. 

Let's pause the story there.....

My foot should have been a solid foundation for my body.  I should have landed on the bottom of my feet.  But instead, my foundation was not right.  The side of my foot didn't have the strength to hold my weight.  The side of my foot was not prepared to bend that direction.  And the pressure that built up was enough to cause my bone to break.

Foundation is everything.

And that got me thinking....how important is our foundation in God?

If we have a faulty foundation...a cracked foundation...a semi-built foundation, how will we react when the storms of life come?

Just a little tilt of my foot was all it took to throw my whole foundation off.

Are you nurturing your foundation in God?  Are you deepening your relationship with God so that your foundation is strong enough to fight the storms?

The Bible talks about the wise and foolish builders.  The foolish man built his house on the sand, while the wise man built his house on a strong foundation.  The storms came, and it's easy to know whose house survived.

So my challenge to you today is to think about your life....what type of foundation are you building?

...and I promise I will complete my story in my next blog!

It's Christmas Morning!!!

I know what you're thinking....what in the world is this blog about?  She must have her days mixed up.  I mean really, with all this snow and cold weather, the Christmas season has been the furthest thing from my mind.  I long for the days where I can wear shorts and sandals....and NOT have to wear a thick winter coat!

But yet....today is my "Christmas morning". 

Today I wait...anxiously wait...for the UPS truck to arrive with my books.  I feel like a kid on Christmas morning....waiting paitently (or not so patiently) for the moment when I can finally open the box and see what's inside.  All day now, I've literally jumped out of my chair whenever I hear a truck go by...hoping maybe this one would be the UPS truck.

This box of books is not just any 'ole box of books either.  These are my books.  This the manuscript that I wrote over 3 years ago.  This is the same manuscript that I have been longing to see in "book" form for years!

Over three years ago, I endeavored on a journey to write a novel.  God put it in my heart to start writing a novel...and not just one....this is going to eventually be a series of novels.  However, after writing the book, I became greatly discouraged at the publishing companies as I couldn't find any companies that would even entertain a manuscript from a first-time author.  Why not even give me a chance? 

The companies that I did find were the ones that required you to finance the entire cost of publication AND buy at least a 1,000 copies of your book!  To say I was discouraged would put it mildly.

Out of my frustration, I put the book to the side.....and my dream slowly faded.... 

It seemed out of reach.  Impossible.  Unattainable.

For several years my manuscript has pretty much been forgotten.  I put my "author" dreams to the side and went on with life...certain that would never happen.

But God....but GOD made a way where there seemed to be no way!!!!!!!!! 

These last few months have been filled with my passion for writing being reignited as God has carved a path of possibility where I thought there was only impossibility.  God gave me this gift and passion to write.  God gave me this story to write.  God gave me the time and ability to complete it.....and God certainly wasn't done!  God has now opened the door for me to have my manuscript printed! 

The last few months have been filled with editing...editing...and more editing!  I have worked with an artist to design my cover...I have worked with a company to set up my manuscript to print.  I have an ISBN for my very own book! 

And now the final step...today I get to SEE my book.  Finally.  I get to open the book and feel the pages of words that God inspired me to write.  I can finally look at myself as an author.  I know when I hold the book in my hands, I will finally "feel" like a real author.  Finally.  This has been my dream for so long.

So if you live in the area and you happen to see a UPS truck, think of me...  Yes, I am looking out the window every few minutes...waiting for my Christmas morning box to open. 

With God ALL things are possible!  Don't ever underestimate our God!  He has a plan far greater than we could ever think or imagine!!!

Break Every Chain-Part 2

As I've been dwelling on the "Break Every Chain" topic, I can't help but focus on the fact that chains are ALREADY broken! We are already free....even if we are not walking in the freedom that lies before us.

Let me explain by giving you an analogy. Our family use to have a beagle named Sammy. He was a slow, calm dog...one that enjoyed sleeping about 23 1/2 hours a day. He was not a watchdog of any sorts...in fact, he would have been okay with anyone breaking in as long as they brought him a treat. Sammy was a stark contrast to the psychotic black lab we have now.....but that part is a whole other blog of its own!

When we would let Sammy outside, we would lead him to the edge of the deck where we would fasten his tie out. You see, being a beagle, Sammy would often sniff his way out of our yard, not realizing where he was going. He had to be tied up, for his own protection. For the first few years, we would have to lead him out to the clip to hook him up. The last few years we had him though, he had become so familiar with the pattern that we no longer had to walk him outside with a leash or anything. He would simply walk to the bottom step of the deck and wait for us to attach the hook to his collar.

Did you catch that????

He would stand there and wait for us to tie him up to the outdoor leash. There were days I tested him by not hooking him up. And to my amazement, he just stood there. He looked up at me with hopeful eyes....desperately waiting for me to hook him up. That dog was convinced that he could not walk out into the yard until I attached the outdoor leash to him.

Some days I stood there and said, "You're free! Go out into the yard!" And still. He just stood there, waiting for what he THOUGHT was his freedom.

Then one day I took it a step farther. I brought the hook up to his collar and moved it so it made the "click" sound. BUT....I did not hook him up.

That crazy dog took off into the yard, thinking he was hooked up. But, again...to my amazement, he stayed in his little circle. He acted like he was still tied out.

Sammy was given freedom. His chains were taken off...literally. I tried to coax him into the yard where he normally wouldn't be allowed to go. But all these times I tried, he did not believe he was truly free until he had the chains on him.

Now I bet you're already seeing the spiritual application here.

Jesus died on the cross for our sins. He has ALREADY taken the burden from us. He has already given us the freedom.

The key is we, like Sammy, have to choose to walk in the freedom.

And just because Jesus has given us the freedom, doesn't mean that the enemy won't tempt us. Of course he will! He will make those chains seem appealing. He will convince us that they are part of us...that we need them. He will try to keep us in our little comfort zone of where the chains keep us. He will try to keep us from breaking out into the freedom that Christ has given to us.

But the key here is that he doesn't force us to take those chains.

We choose it.

We decide if we are going to keep putting those chains on each and every day. And once we do put them on, they restrict us. They weigh us down. They keep us from being the men and women of God that we need to be.

But there are no locks on the chains.

We aren't stuck with them. At any point we can put them down and choose to walk in freedom.

But like Sammy, we have to choose it. I couldn't do anything to convince that dog that he truly was free. He still felt bound by the pattern of being chained up so long. He felt a version of what he THOUGHT was freedom when I did hook him up. But that wasn't real freedom.

Your chains may feel like a mountain so high that you could never get rid of them. Your chains may feel so familiar to you that you aren't ready to give them all up. Your chains may be more than you ever imagine you can defeat.

But you can do it. Not on your own, though. You can do it with God's help.

How do I know this? Well, because I picked up my own chains for so many years and carried them with me each and every day. They were heavy. They restricted me. They kept me from doing the things God wanted me to do. They were chains of depression, anorexia, suicide...to name a few....

Yes, my past isn't pretty. But with those chains removed, God has painted a beautiful masterpiece with my life.

And it's not a complete masterpiece yet. I have a few more chains that the enemy still tempts me to wear each day. BUT....each and every day I make it a goal to

BREAK. EVERY. CHAIN.

every chain.

Break Every Chain

As our church is preparing to host the next "Stepping into Leadership" conference March 1-2, I have been dwelling on our conference title.  It's a title that stirs up great anticipation inside of me.  It's a topic that hits very close to home in my life personally.

"Break Every Chain"

That just creates excitement in my heart!  Too many Christians are walking around with chains on them...chains that are holding them back from the purpose that God has for their lives!!!  It's time to break those chains and find true FREEDOM!!!  I cannot wait to see what God does at this conference!!!!!!!

But as I've been praying for this, God has been stirring up something inside of me. 

Break EVERY chain.

Not just some chains.  Every chain.

I know from personal experience that it is easy to let God break SOME of the chains that we are bound with.  Now, I'm not saying the process is necessarily easy.  Instead I mean that there are often chains that we are willing to part with....chains that we want gone.  Those aren't as difficult to lay at the altar and say, "Here God, I don't want this anymore!"

But what about the chains that are buried deep within us?

You know what I'm talking about.  The chains that are hidden.  The ones that we don't want to ever admit that we have.  The ones that we are ashamed of.  The ones we would rather bury than deal with.  The ones that scare us.  The ones that we ignore, hoping that they will go away on their own.

It's time we let God break EVERY chain.

Not just the chains we want Him to.  Not just the ones we are comfortable about dealing with.

Every chain.

What is the chain that is holding you back?  What is the one thing you don't want to deal with....or admit?  What's the chain that you are trying to bury?  What have you been telling God you can't do--what's holding you back?

We aren't truly free until each and every chain is broken.

Every chain.

Then I started wondering....why do we keep that chain?  Why do we hold onto it?  I mean, the chains that hold us back do not have a lock.  We can decide at any point to put them down.   So...why don't we?  Why do we stay in bondage?

Maybe we're scared of dealing with it.  Maybe it has become such a part of us that we don't know how we would function without it.  Maybe we think that we can never change....that it is just "who we are"...that the chain defines us.  Maybe...just maybe...we actually like the chain.  Maybe leaving the chain will force us out of our comfort zone.

Whatever the reason for the chain, the solution is the same.  We can't fully break the chain on our own, but we CAN break it with God's help.

It's time to give God the chains.  It's time to allow Him to break every chain.

Yes.  EVERY chain.

It's time to ask God to show us the chains that are holding us back from being the men and women of God that we should be.  It's time to take the foothold away from the enemy.

And when that happens...when we truly lay the chains at God's feet...we will find true FREEDOM!

My Bling Purse

I like bling.  Sparkly.  Shiny.  Girly.  Sequins.  Pink.  ......all that fun stuff....

However, despite my love for bling, I don't usually find myself wearing much of it.  Bling is loud...attention-drawing...bold.  Me?  I'm not so loud...not so bold...and I really don't like the attention on me.  I love bling...but my personal jewelry collection has always been very conservative.  I would often see others wearing the jewelry I loved, but then would always assume it would never look good on me.  I guess you could say that I often admire bling from afar.

Until recently.

The last few years I have broadened my horizons.  Those who may remember, years back, I NEVER wore dangly earrings.  I never wore bracelets.  I only owed small and dainty rings and necklaces.  I guess it's been since I started making a lot of my own jewerly that I have found a love for more "blingy" items. 

...and then a few weeks ago I saw the purse.  Yes....the purse.  And I know what you're thinking....yes, I AM about to draw a spiritual application out of a purse.....

The purse...

Pink.  Sparkly.  Sequins. 

I instantly gravitated towards the purse.  My daughter was shopping with me and did not hold back as she exlaimed her extreme disgust for the purse I was considering. 

I held it up to the mirror next to the purse rack and tried to envision myself carrying the purse.  ...and though I loved it....it just seemed too bold for me.  I mean, could I actually see myself shopping at Walmart in sweatpants and carrying a pink sequin purse?  I might feel a little crazy doing that...

So I put the purse back.  Instead, I settled on a less flashy purple purse....which, I might add, my daughter ALSO hated....(tough!  I bought it anyway!)

But you know, as much as I like the purple purse.....I have found myself wishing I had the boldness and confidence to carry the pink sequin purse.  I regretted not buying that one.

Well, lo and behold....this weekend while shopping with my husband....guess what I just happened to find on clearance???????????????????????????????????

YEP!  You guessed it!  The pink sequin purse.  I found one left.  AND to top it off, I had a 30% off coupon.  I could spend just a few dollars and get the sequin purse that I had wished I bought. 

But you know, as I once again held it up in the mirror, I still had a hard time envisioning myself carrying the purse.

Is this really me? 

I mean...I knew it was me....deep down inside, I love this purse!  But could I really show that side of my personality to everyone around me?????? 

As I started to put it back on the shelf, I realized something.  I realized that everytime I look at the purse, I smile. 

Now that may seem silly.  But it's true.  The pink shiny sequins make me smile.  You know why?  Because that's the real me. 

And I started to think.....why is it that we often hide who we really are? 

Why do we wear masks?  Why are we afraid to let others see us for who we really are?

We are each so very special because God made us that way.  He made us unique....each with our own talents, abilities, personalities.....and when we hide who we are, we are hiding the masterpiece that God has made in us! 

I often find myself shying away from situations where I need to be bold...loud....as I know that I am quiet.  I often use that as an excuse and hold myself back.  But you know, God has made me to be more than just a quiet person who hides her true self.

Whatever God has made you to be......let it shine!  Be the wonderful person that God hand-crafted you to be.  Don't let your feelings of what others think of you dictate how you live your life.

It's time.  Pick up your "blingy" pink sequin purse and move ahead confidently knowing that God made you special!