Trusting God in the Silence

Trust is a hard thing.

Trusting in people can be very difficult as people often fail us. People have shortcomings and don't always live up to our expectations. I remember when my husband and I started dating in college. I had a really hard time trusting him as I had been let down by so many people in my life. Was it his fault? Not all all! But he felt the result of my lack of trust and had to spend time building up my trust in Him. People are human. They make mistakes. So it makes complete sense that we might have a hard time putting our trust in people.

But trusting God.....well, that shouldn't be difficult at all....right?

I mean, God is always there for us. God never leaves us. So that should mean that we have absolute faith in Him and trust Him with anything. ...right...???

Why is it so hard to trust God? Why is it so hard to believe that our Creator God has everything under control?

I think the answer lies in exactly what I mentioned before. We are human! And because we are human, we want to be the ones in control.

I mean, think about a little kid playing with other kids their age. Don't they always try to take the toy for themselves?

MINE!!!!

"Mine" is such a common word for kids as they want to have everything they see and have control of the world around them. They are selfish because they haven't learned how to share and how to think about others.

Isn't that like us? We want to take control over our lives. We want to be in the driver's seat instead of handing the controls over to God...because handing the controls over to Him means that we are letting Him determine what happens!

Trusting God is just like that! It is all about handing the controls over to Him and letting Him navigate you through life. It means giving control to Him when things are going good. But it also means giving Him control when things aren't going good.

How often do we try to rip the steering wheel out of His hand when things don't go like we thought they would? We instantly take over as we think we know the best plan. But do we really?

Think of yourself as a small ant crawling in the tall grass of your yard. The ant doesn't see where the best route is...the ant only sees in front of himself. He won't know if there's a big log a few feet away. He won't be able to forsee the pit of sand coming up around the corner. And he definitely doesn't know where the attack dog is sitting in the yard.

Now picture God standing at the edge of the lawn looking over the yard...much like you would do when you stand in your yard. God sees the best route. God sees that log a few feet away. He knows where the sand pit is and He certainly knows where the attack dog is. If that ant...(aka...YOU!) listens to God's voice, He will help you navigate through all the rough areas of life. He sees the big picture. He knows the best route.

But what about the times God is silent?

You know what I'm talking about. Those times when you pray and you don't hear His voice. Those times when you aren't 100% sure of His plan. Those times when, as the Footprints in the Sand poem states, there was only one set of footprints. Those times when we feel alone.

Where is God then? How can we trust Him when He is silent? How can we trust Him when we don't see any results? How can we keep having faith when it seems like we are spinning our wheels and nothing is happening?

The bottom line is God is there in ALL those times.

He has never left.

He may be silent for a season. He may not speak to your heart in the time frame you wish. But that doesn't mean He is gone. That just means He is working behind the scenes!

Our God stands at the edge of the yard and continues to navigate us through life, even when it seems like He is silent.

In those times where you are waiting on God, have faith. He is still there.

In those times where it seems like you don't have an answer, keep trusting. He is working even when it seems like nothing is happening.

In those times where you feel like you are losing hope, keep pressing on. God hasn't left for a moment.

You can put your complete faith and trust in our God because He WILL come through!

It may not be in your timing. It may not be in the way you expected. But trust me, I know from experience, He is always there.

Whatever you are dealing with in your life right now, know that you can place that burden in the arms of your Jesus. He will never....ever....let you down!

Keeping in Step

My husband and I have recently embarked on a new adventure...of which I have been getting LOTS of questions about! And let me just say, I have had plenty of my own questions for God about this also! So let me address it here and answer all of your questions.

First off, yes, you are correct if you have wondered if our house is for sale...or if you have driven by and seen the sign and wondered if that was a figment of your imagination.

But to answer the most common question....No...we are not leaving Tomah!!! We are still pastors here and don't plan to change that anytime soon! We have had random people in town (people who we don't even know) come up to us and say they saw our house for sale and wondered if we were getting a different pastor position. Kinda funny how people know who we are and where we live and we don't even know those people!

We love being pastors here in Tomah. We love our church and all the people here. This is our home...and our family. So please rest assured that we aren't going anywhere anytime soon!

So then. Why in the world would we sell our house?

That's a question I've asked God myself many times in the past month. I absolutely love our home! We have 5 bedrooms which means we have enough room when all our kids are home...plus we have additional space for friends they might have over or for our parents if they are visiting. We have 2 living rooms, one of which has my office space where I work everyday. We have a gorgeous (and I mean GORGEOUS) screened in deck with a serene view. In fact, as I write this now, I am sitting on our deck which Scooby lounges here and watches for wildlife. Our deck is my perfect place for prayer time!

When I think about leaving this house, it makes me sad! We've put time and money into fixing up this house to be the perfect place for our family. It's home. It's my safe place. It's the place that makes me happy. It's the place my kids call home.

So when my husband posed the question a few months back about downsizing and moving to a different house, I was obviously completely against the idea. What....was he crazy? I would never leave my home. Besides the fact that I totally HATE the moving process. Why pack up everything and move across town? That seemed silly. His reasoning was that we certainly didn't need a 5 bedroom house that was this large when all our kids would be grown and out of the house in a very short time. I saw his point. But still...this is HOME!

As the months passed, my husband didn't say much more about his thought about moving. He made a few comments, all of which I quickly dismissed. In fact, one day we were going to a rummage sale in a neighborhood in Tomah and he said, "Would you ever want to live in a house in this area?" Again, I quickly shut down his thoughts.

Um...what do you think? I don't want to move!

Or so I thought.

God began to work on my heart. Slowly...yes...I take more time than some....

As we took our new youth pastors around to look at houses for them, something stirred within me. Something so foreign. I began to see myself living in a different place. It began to look exciting. It began to be an idea that I entertained.

Could I really do this? Is this really what God was speaking to us?

After much prayer since that point, my husband and I have discerned the voice of God is in fact leading us to put our house on the market. I know this is a God thing. He has stirred both of our hearts in the same direction. Me...just a bit slower than my husband...

Our heart's desire is to keep in step with the Spirit. We want to walk the path God has for us, even if it means taking steps of faith. And let me tell you, putting your beloved house on the market is definitely a step of faith!

What is God's plan for us? I don't know exactly. That remains to be seen. God doesn't show us the whole picture at once. I mean, if He did, we would have no reason to trust in Him, right? I know His plan is for us to stay in Tomah. I know that He has prompted us to put our house on the market. I know that He has led us to a house that we put an offer on (and has been accepted contingent on us selling ours). And this very house just happens to be in the same neighborhood where we were at the rummage sale when my husband suggested we move!

But beyond that???? It's all steps of faith. It's in God's hands now. It's up to Him to determine where this goes from here. We've done our part, now He does His part! He will either bring a buyer for our house...or He will have us stay in our house that we are in now.

I don't know know exactly why He's prompting us to do this. I just know we have to obey. The rest is up to Him.

If He doesn't sell our house, I will be happy staying here! And then you wonder why He would have us put it on the market if it doesn't sell. Well, maybe He just wants to see if we are faithful. Would we give up our house that we love if He asked us to? Would we follow him blindly?

And if He does sell our house, well I have to believe that our new house would be even better than the one we have now. I believe if we end up moving, I'll find even more "home" in that house. I also believe that He'll make that a home for our kids!

No matter what happens, we are just gonna stay in step with our God!

You Want Me to Do What, God?

Have you ever prayed about a really big decision you had to make....and waited patiently for God to answer you with the direction you needed to go?  You know what you would want as the answer, but you decide to take it to God and make sure that you are on the right track.....although you are already feeling certain that your "recommended" answer is surely the answer He will give you.

But then once you start to feel God direct you to His answer for you, suddenly you panic as you realize that it is NOT the answer you expected!!!  In fact, it's pretty much the direct opposite of what you wanted to do!

So do you accept His answer in complete obedience even though it's not what you wanted?  Or are you more apt to keep praying some more, wondering if you heard God wrong?  Or maybe you are hoping that His answer might change if you pray hard enough about it!

And then after days and maybe even weeks of praying...and praying....and more praying...you find that God's answer still hasn't changed.  That first nudge on your heart WAS in fact the answer He was giving you.

This whole process may seem silly...even childish.  But really, how many of us have done this before?  I know I certainly have.  In fact, I very recently have been praying about a big decision I needed to make and I found myself in a place where I was unwilling to accept the answer that I didn't want to hear.  And it was in this place that I started the cycle of praying over and over, hoping that God would change His answer so that I wouldn't have to be uncomfortable...or in a situation that I preferred not to be in.

Why do we doubt God so much?  Why do we question the answers He gives to us?  Why would we think that our wisdom is even an ounce better than God's wisdom? 

Maybe it's just our desire to control our situations.  Or maybe it's our fear of facing something that is hard.  Whatever it is, it's important to remember that if we are walking down the path God has for us, there is NEVER any reason to fear because He is by our side.  It's only in those times that we go off on our own and do our own thing that we take ourselves out of the will and plan that God has for us.

So even if it's hard...remember to accept the answers God gives to you and know that you can walk in confidence into any situation when you have God on your side!

Get Back in the Game

Today I accomplished something...

I ran 3.1 miles for the FIRST time since July 5th!  It felt so good to finally be back and able to run the distance I normally did before my broken ankle incident.  Now, I am slower than a turtle swimming in molasses...but at least I'm moving forward and getting better!

I do have to say that having a broken ankle ranked in the top 5 hardest situations I've ever been through.  I will truly never look at someone with a broken limb...or someone on crutches...the same way again.  My heart breaks every time I see someone hobbling along on crutches.  I know the pain.  I know how hard it is.  I know how it takes away so much of your independence and changes your life so drastically.

But I am a victor!  I have conquered this and am moving forward each and every day to be back to my "normal" running abilities!

But.........I am still dealing with one thing that is a result of my broken ankle.  After I was able to take my cast off, I had to wear an ankle brace to give support to my ankle.  The brace didn't fit that well in my running shoes, which were already 1/2 size bigger than my normal shoes.  Every step I took, I could feel my toes hitting the top of my shoe.

After a short while, I decided to invest in some shoes that were a FULL size too big, just to give my foot, along with the fashionable-looking brace, enough room.  That worked and my foot felt great.....well, for awhile...

Weeks later I have discovered that I have a lovely ingrown toenail...and that is a direct result of all the walking I did with my shoes too tight.

So why do I mention this?  Well the other day as I was chatting with someone about this, I said something that really made me think.  I said, "This silly toenail hasn't grown for months now.  It just sits here.  It's not moving or doing anything.  I wonder how long this is going to take for it to grow or finally do something!!!"

Wow....read that again....

"This silly toenail hasn't grown for months now.  It just sits here.  It's not moving or doing anything.  I wonder how long this is going to take for it to grow or finally do something!!!"

Immediately I was reminded about how powerful of a spiritual application those statements had.

Have we ever had periods of our lives where we didn't grow in God?  Have we ever just sat there...not doing what God intended for us to do?  Have we ever remained motionless spiritually....or just gone through the motions, not really diving into the path God has for us?  Have people ever looked at us and wondered how long it would take for us to grow?

The situations in life...the attacks of the enemy....the times where we are hit by so many battles....  All those things make it so easy to get "out of the game", spiritually speaking....  We feel wounded...wore out...defeated....  It's almost like the battle gets so fierce that we just bench ourselves and figure things will be easier if we just stopped trying.

But where's the victory in that?

Can I be bold enough to point out that in doing so, we are handing the battle over to the enemy and letting him win?

Believe me, I know what spiritual battles feel like.  They can be tiring and so very difficult....but just remember that we cannot lose with God on our side!

God is calling His people to move forward in Him....He is calling us to reach a new spiritual level...to not just sit and be content where we are at....to not just watch everyone else grow but stay stagnant ourselves.

He is calling us to get back in the game.  To pick up ourselves and march forward in victory. 

And even if you are as slow as my recent running, don't let it discourage you.  As long as you are moving forward, you are at least moving in the right direction!

Lessons From a Broken Ankle-Part 3

I use to look at people on crutches and think it was no big deal.  Though I have never had a broken bone, in my own mind, I didn't think it would be that bad.  You just get a cast right?

WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Having a broken ankle means you can't just get up and walk across a room easily.  It means you need help doing even the simplest of tasks.  I found that I needed help carrying things...I couldn't just make my lunch and carry it to the table.  How can I do that on crutches?  I found that I needed help getting places...up and down stairs...etc.  I needed people to bring me things.  I needed help grocery shopping.  I needed help doing laundry.  I needed help going through doors into restaurants/stores.

Having a broken ankle means much time spent just sitting still, foot propped up with ice on it.  It means getting muscle spasms because certain muscles are not being used.  It means not being able to just get up easily in the middle of the night for the restroom.

Having a broken ankle means learning to use crutches.  It means getting everywhere slower than normal.  It means callouses on your hands from the crutches.  It means hopping up and down stairs very strategically so as to NOT fall......which I failed at two different times......

Having a broken ankle has changed my outlook on so many things!

First off, I have learned a new appreciation for my feet.  If you are able to walk on your own right now, count your blessings!!!!  I realized that I took being able to walk and run for granted.  I didn't realize how precious of a gift that is until I lost the use of one foot.

Secondly, I have learned what it's like to depend on everyone around you.  I am so accustomed to being independent and doing so many things for myself.  Breaking my ankle put me into an emotional mess of realizing that I had to depend on every person around me for just about everything I needed.  I felt like I was stressing my family out (which I'm sure I was.....).  I felt needy....I felt so horrible for suddenly having my independence taken away.

But you know what?  God reminded me that this dependence on others was EXACTLY what He wants us to do with HIM!!!!  How often do we try to do things for ourselves instead of depending on our Heavenly Father?  Instead of being out on our own, God wants us to look to Him and depend on Him for all the things we need.  Though it may be hard to give up our independence, things will always go better when we place all our dependence on Him. 

So, that being said, I guess this broken ankle has brought out some good lessons to learn.....  I know I will never again take my ability to walk for granted!!!!!!!!!!

Lessons From a Broken Ankle-Part 2

So to continue my lovely story...

There I was suddenly in the ER....in extreme pain...looking at my enlarged ankle....

I knew what happened.  I knew after that snap I heard, that I had broken a bone.

My world came crashing down as images of upcoming races flashed through my head.  How would I run, let alone walk? 

And sure enough, as we went to the ER, they confirmed that I had indeed broke my fibula.  Tears streamed down my face as I asked the doctor when I would be able to run again.  ...not for many weeks, they said....


This situation rocked my whole world.  Everything I had planned for the summer was different!  I couldn't exercise every day by running.  I wouldn't be able to run in the races I wanted to.  I couldn't take a simple walk, holding hands with my hubby.  I couldn't go on a bike ride.  Everything that involved walking around was now complicated by a big boot, 2 crutches, and the fact that I couldn't put weight on my foot.

At first I was very upset...emotional...sad....not to mention, very upset at the fact that I played tennis even though I really didn't want to in the first place!  But as time went on, I have realized that God has good in every situation that we are faced with.  I distinctly remember praying that I needed some rest...that I needed time to refocus and just dedicate to writing.  Well, lo and behold, I have that time now! 

When our lives don't go exactly as we wish or plan, it's easy to get upset and wonder why God isn't there for us.  But you know, God has an even greater plan for our lives that we could ever imagine.

Our job is to praise God not just in the good times, but in the hard times too.  And through those hard times, God will make us even stronger!

 

Lessons from a Broken Ankle-Part 1

Three long weeks ago I experienced something I never had before.  I broke a bone.  My very first broken bone.  ...yeah....  Can you just feel my excitement?

This experience has been very rough...humbling...challenging... emotional...painful.  It has changed my whole outlook on things.  It has made me very grateful for things.

Though it has taken me three weeks to get to the point of being able to express this experience in writing, I know that God has taught me many lessons through this...lessons that are worth sharing.  So now, as I lay in bed, astronaut-looking boot propped up on top of 3 pillows, I'd like to share one of those lessons.

Let me bring you back to the evening of July 5...the evening that changed my entire plan for the summer.......

My in-laws were in town and they and my hubby were planning to go play tennis after we finished our dinner together.  Since all my kids were gone for the evening, I hesitantly decided to go with.  Now, don't get me wrong...I love playing tennis....just, after a long day's work, somehow the couch sounded more inviting....

Tennis started out great....I was having a great time as I remembered just how much I did love to play.  And I was glad to get some extra exercise!

I clearly remember the ball coming to me....me realizing it was going to be a hard shot...I jumped to the side and stretched out my racket with my left hand to try and reach the ball.  I was determined to get it.

Good news....I got the ball.  I hit it.  Success!!!

Bad news....as I hit the ball and prepared to land on the ground, I remember something not feeling right.  I looked down just in time to see that my left foot was NOT flat on the ground.  My foot was landing on the side.  I watched as my foot rocked more to the side and I basically landed on the side of my shoe instead of the bottom.  The very moment that happened, I heard a crack.  And when that crack happened, I felt intense pain.

Next thing I know, I collapsed on the ground.  I remember throwing my shoe off as quick as I could to relieve some pressure I was feeling.  My sock came off.  I remember everyone staring at me in a panic, trying to decide what to do.  I remember my mother-in-law saying it looked like I had a potato on the side of my foot.  All the while, I knew what happened.  I knew I had snapped a bone. 

Let's pause the story there.....

My foot should have been a solid foundation for my body.  I should have landed on the bottom of my feet.  But instead, my foundation was not right.  The side of my foot didn't have the strength to hold my weight.  The side of my foot was not prepared to bend that direction.  And the pressure that built up was enough to cause my bone to break.

Foundation is everything.

And that got me thinking....how important is our foundation in God?

If we have a faulty foundation...a cracked foundation...a semi-built foundation, how will we react when the storms of life come?

Just a little tilt of my foot was all it took to throw my whole foundation off.

Are you nurturing your foundation in God?  Are you deepening your relationship with God so that your foundation is strong enough to fight the storms?

The Bible talks about the wise and foolish builders.  The foolish man built his house on the sand, while the wise man built his house on a strong foundation.  The storms came, and it's easy to know whose house survived.

So my challenge to you today is to think about your life....what type of foundation are you building?

...and I promise I will complete my story in my next blog!